Thanks to the COM352 students for contributing a bunch of new pages! I'll be moving these pages into the main area of the wiki soon.

From UMassWiki

There were many helpful things I got out of Jakes feedback. Although Jake took a minimalist view of my essay and his feedback, from this I was able to see what worked and maybe what didn’t work. Jake liked my introduction out of most of the things in the paper. I believe that my introductions works, and I am probably going to keep it.

One thing that I noticed from the feedback from Jake was that from his comments, it seems like I didn’t let any of myself into the essay, and rather just refuted, or agreed with that Gloria had to say. I need to let myself in, and rather than take an approach from agreement, and disagreement. One thing that I think I am going to do, and improve upon my essay is I am going to try to bring in more of myself and experiences from going to different countries and having to deal with a language barrier that Gloria has to deal with her entire life.

Another thing I learned from Jakes critique was what exactly worked for my essay, and what I should go into more depth about, and what was maybe not my best argument. My writing has to be focused, and I need to make clearer what my argument is, and have a better supporting evidence. I need to take my quotes and focus them more so that they help and support my argument, rather than make my argument. Most of all, I just need to figure out exactly what I want to say with this paper.

My feedback was the most helpful not with what he said, but what he didn’t say. Places where he didn’t have a comment are places I know I need to improve. Overall the feedback was helpful and will lead me to have a better paper.

--Thebriandonnelly 22:44, 1 November 2006 (EST)