Thanks to the COM352 students for contributing a bunch of new pages! I'll be moving these pages into the main area of the wiki soon.

From UMassWiki

Dearest Mike, First off thank you for including everything I told you about myself in my introduction. However if I were able to critique the introduction in any way it would be that I felt that none of my character was in the introduction. I feel as if in your introduction I tried to add somewhat of flair from the kind of person you were into my introduction of you. In reading the introduction you wrote about me I felt as if it was more of a list of things I liked rather than a fun introduction. Something that I did like about the introduction was line like the shoe bomber, and fancies the ladies. It is these kind of flairs that I would look for throughout an introduction for me. I would like to think of my elf as a person of many talents and fun. I did not get this feeling from my introduction. One such area that I thought could have been elaboratized was the fact that I was both in band and played on the football team. Many people see this, as both interesting and respectful due to the fact that the two are looked upon as usual opposites. With so many different activities I had expected a little more flavor in my introduction to the writing world of Umass. There were also many things that I wished had been included that I may have forgot to tell you, or that you might have left out due to space or time. But seeing how it is my introduction to a crowd that will be reading my writing I think it is appropriate that they know my writing background. With this known I have been writing from my school paper for two years, mostly as an entertainment writing doing film, book, and musical review. Along with this I have an interest in writing screenplays. Also I think it would be fun to note that my dream would be to work in Rolling Stone as a critique, as well as be able to write for one of their slightly left sided political articles. Finally my last criticism of the introduction was that it lacked any kind of structure or flow from one idea to another. In writing one it might have been helpful to block entertainment, activities, family and factual stuff together, and have a transition between them. Again in this sense I felt as if things could have been put together better and more structured with transition while also adding some pizzazz. And I know I said finally, but lastly, it would have been nice to see my name spelled right. It’s Brian. Thank you again and hopefully my criticism wasn’t harsh and may be helpful. --Thebriandonnelly 22:11, 20 September 2006 (EDT)