Thanks to the COM352 students for contributing a bunch of new pages! I'll be moving these pages into the main area of the wiki soon.

From UMassWiki

A tranquil atmosphere is not silent. It gives me a sense of comfort, calmness and security. Every night before I fall asleep, I lay on my bed imagining this tranquil state to relax my mind and gently fall into my dreams. Sometimes I think of a scene of a good movie I’ve seen during the day; sometimes a compliment by someone; sometimes the jazz concert I’ve listened to earlier. They act as “lullabies” which put me into sleep. There is no specific person, thing and place that I can think of to find tranquility; my heart leads me there.

A silence atmosphere is terrifying and anxious. Five years ago, I experienced insomnia: the inability of falling asleep. I felt awful to be tense throughout day and night. I brought my school pressures in the morning to my bed time when I started worrying about my insomnia affecting my performance at school the next morning. I could not calm down. I could sense myself pondering: ‘Am I prepared for school tomorrow?’ ‘What will I expect?’ ‘What will my new friends think of me?’ I would lie awake in bed for hours and hours; my eyes, feet and legs were exhausted, but not my mind. People told me to relax and not stress or think about anything. I turned off all the lights in my room until it was pitch-dark. I turned off all the electronic devices that would make a beep. I tried listening to soothing acoustic music, but any sort of sounds keep me awake.

I closed my eyes…… My mind was blank; nothing was running through my head. No sound. The silence in my mind made me panic and scared. I could hear my heart pounding and my heavy breathe. I heard my clock ticking each second. The noise was getting louder and louder. I waited for one…two… three hours. “Why can’t I fall asleep?” I cried to myself. I realized that I was trying too hard. Avoiding sounds and light wasn’t helping at all; I need a better solution.

Then I found out it wasn’t the things going on in my head. It was my misconception of being calm and my anxiety about sleep. I thought silence could make me feel rested. The first couple nights of insomnia might be caused by nervousness but the rest was by the eagerness to fall asleep. It became a vicious circle. The more I wanted to fall sleep; the more sober I get. It turned into a habit and got worse day by day. So I began to care less. I learned to not think of sleeping as a task. I thought of sleeping as a state which I can relax by letting go my burdens. I did not care whether or not I would be able to fall asleep. I did not avoid sounds. Rather, I listen to sounds that make me content and jolly. I started to let my mind go where it led me. I was right; I was back to where I was.