Thanks to the COM352 students for contributing a bunch of new pages! I'll be moving these pages into the main area of the wiki soon.

From UMassWiki

There is no specific moment in one’s life when everything seems to make sense; there is always a new and confusing addition to the mix. Just when you think everything is figured out, something more unusual than the human mind can comprehend finds itself a place in your life. But, often there is a time in one’s path of life that all of the things that held such massive importance seem to fade into the background of something more enlightening. For me, this required leaving the United States. However drastic or dramatic that may seem, it influenced and greatly changed my view of the world and the priorities in my life. I don't know how dramatic that seems at all... it's sort of a simple thing. BUT that does make your case special. In my senior year of high school, my mom let me go to Spain with a group from my high school during Spring break. First of all, I was completely caught off guard with the idea that I, the youngest child and the only girl, was allowed to go alone to a foreign country at 17. Before I could comprehend the magnitude of this privilege, I was on a plane listening to people speaking in a language that was I had a very basic knowledge of. It was exciting to be immersed in something so, well, foreign.nice. I’ve always been curious about how other societies, cultures and countries conduct themselves and there I was, in the middle of it all. But I suppose take out but i suppose.' you don't need it. The most interesting part of this whole situation is that the changes I saw in this new culture were not completely overwhelming. I expected to step off the plane and be hit with a ton of bricks. It was the little things, the daily routines, which influenced me most throughout my week and a half there. Our society is some i think you meant so? egocentric that most people seem to forget that we are a minute aspect of a much bigger picture. So, to step outside my comfort zone and the barriers of our country was a huge breath of fresh air. Don’t get me wrong, the liberties and freedoms we have are certainly appreciated but to be more aware of others is directly related to being more aware of oneself. It’s hard to explain the freedom I felt as I was walking the streets of these tiny Spanish villages where so much history has happened. Even the air is different, everything seems so much richer. I fully understand that this is partially due to the fact that I was being exposed to a completely new culture and that I was bound to notice the stark differences between American culture and Spanish culture, but my time there has influenced so many of my decisions and ideas since. One of the most important moments during my time in the countryi'd change it to 'in spain'- it reads sorta awkward was one night when some friends and I went to see traditional Spanish dancing in a tiny fishing village outside of Madrid. We rode a tiny bus through even smaller cobblestone streets to what seemed like the middle of nowhere. All of the houses surrounding the restaurant were compact and made of white stone. I got off the bus and climbed up the stone steps to where I heard the slight plucking of a guitar and the rustling of dresses. I had no idea what to expect, the only image I had in my head was a caricature of a Spanish man with a greasy ponytail, skin tight belly shirt and leather pants. Frankly, I wasn’t too far from the truth. As I sat in my chair silently observing with wide eyes, I watched 4 men come into the room wearing exactly what I imagined. Following closely behind were the female dancers and musicians. All of them, including one woman who was at least 85 years old, were decked out in extremely elaborate and colorful dresses. Every member of the group was meticulously groomed, down to each polished black shoe. Eventually, a man with a guitar started slowly strumming a tune. As minutes passed, the music swelled into a full sound. As the women and men created patterns with effortless clapping and singing, a couple would step onto the tiny wooden dance floor. As the audience of 40 members watched intently, the two slammed the floor with their high heeled shoes and danced with more passion than I’ve ever seen anyone have for any interest. The night progressed, and the partners changed. With each new dance couple, a new emotion was evoked from the crowd. Some of the pairs created an atmosphere of angry and frustration while others conveyed a sense of elation and glee. Watching the passion that this group of 6 people emitted and translated to the crowd was amazing. To be witness to something as simple as dancing being so deep rooted in Spanish culture and having such strong emotional ties was so interesting. I feel like it’s so rare to see someone have such lust for anything anymore, and to see a group of people doing what they love and never tiring of it was uplifting. In our society, so much time is wasted doing the obligatory things in life; going to college, getting a degree, finding a respectable and well paying conventional job, getting married and having kids, never straying from the pack. Of course there still are people who defy the standards of today’s societal norms, but they are few and far between. These dancers were doing what they truly loved, no matter how against the grain it is. And I suppose that’s not even the true reason why I was so impressed with what these dancers were doing. The most influential part of their dancing was how affected I felt by the whole experience. Watching the dancers and singers take such pride in what they do was so refreshing. It made me realize how important it is for an individual to follow what he truly wants to pursue in life and not be fully influenced by society and other people’s opinions. Perhaps that would cure the common frustration many people feel once they enter the work force. More often than not, I hear people saying how unsatisfying or mundane or repetitive their daily life is. Maybe all it takes to be happy in life is to slow down for a second and think about what you truly want. I love this paragraph. it repeats itself a bit but it's important stuff... you could cut out some sentences, but it might be difficult because they're all important? That’s another reason why this trip was so influential stop using the word influential for me; I was in the middle of making “one of the biggest decisions of my life.” I had just gone through a year of looking at colleges, taking the “right” classes, taking the SATs far too many times and writing endless resumes to send to an endless list of colleges. Being faced with the decision to pick where I would inevitably be for the next four years of my life was a pretty large decision. Spending spring break in Spain and coming to UMass are in no way linked, but I needed some time away from the whole decision making process and gain some clarity on the subject. Generally, European culture is much slower paced than American culture. I no longer felt pressured to make the right decision on command and have the answer to every question about what I want to do with my future. Prior to leaving on the trip, I had felt so flustered with finishing my senior year, leaving my friends, finding a college that was the “right fit” for me and everything else associated with the stress of your final year in high school. Going on this trip made me realize that stress is relative and no decision I was to make in regards to college would be final. Another positive aspect of the trip was that I learned to appreciate the small things in my life. I remember one specific day that I spent in Granada. My friends and I were sitting in a park outside of the Prado museum, and I was just watching people walk by and enjoying the simplicity of what I was doing. Being able to think about things other than what I had to do was so different than what I am used to. Seeing a new culture and the ways in which another society operates was an eye opening experience. It was imperative for me to see the way another culture lives to broaden my own horizons. However, it wasn’t until I came back into the U.S. that I noticed how different European culture is from what I am used to. Especially Spanish culture, which is extremely socially structured, there is less of a tendency for individuals to be alone and in solitude. In America, there is often a belief that in order to survive in this cut throat world, you need to fend for yourself and have relationships take second place to personal gain. It was such a new experience to see people enjoying who they are with and learning about the social tendencies of this new culture. i like how this paragraph relaly identifies where you're coming from... I especially like that you pointed out the fact that you didn't have to think about what you had to do. I feel like ESPECIALLY now in school I'm constantly consumed with what do I have to do next not to fail at life. After seeing the vast cultural differences and striking similarities between the culture I “identify” with and the culture I was privy to be exposed to, I became more aware of what I want out of my own life. Now, certainly, this will have many amendments in years to come, but I know that I do not want to completely disregard other cultures and countries out of ignorance or laziness. Traveling to Spain made me realize how important it is to be knowledgeable of other ways of living in order to create a strong and well-developed sense of self.

Summary: I really enjoyed reading this essay because the position you take is a very enlightened one. You do an excellent job of illuminating the idea that we need to slow down and stop becoming so self oriented, but at the same time understand ourselves as part of the rest of the world. In terms of rhetorical situations, you did a good job as the writer. Your identity is clear to me as a college student who is not as consumed with getting ahead of the game as much as others might be. You're relatively clear when it comes to your descriptions, but since it's a first draft I'd go back and look for repeats in ideas or phrases. The apparent audience seems to be anyone interested in a college student's life. I like how you described why it is beneficial to not be so caught up in 'the right path' so you can live your life the way that makes you happy. Lastly, in terms of subject matter, you did a great job at presenting colorful imagery which makes the reader, me, understand why you're talking about it. Your examples of the dancers, the paths people force themselves to take, and the feelings you had on each step of your trip to Spain all play a role in making this a good essay, rough draft or not. You might want to build a little more on how it has changed your identity to this day, and clean up the first paragraph; it's a little confusing. Good job, Ace.