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Diction

Be sure to use the word you really want.

Incorrect: Her main issue was food.

Correct: Kothari had a difficult time adjusting to American food. Jessica 12:01, 26 April 2007 (EDT)

Incorrect: Research shows that the positives overpower the negatives regarding this law.

Correct: Research shows that the positives overpower the negatives regarding this proposal. Jessica 19:17, 1 May 2007 (EDT)

Diction

Mistake- It was in D.C. that I finally understood one does not have to be a specific party, for example republican, democrat, socialist, nationalist, ‘ect. Penguin Book- (pg 272) Modifiers come in two varieties; adjectives and adverbs. Corrected- It was in D.C. that I finally understood one does not have to identity with a specific party, for example republican, democrat, socialist, nationalist, ‘ect. Ksweets 19:31, 29 April 2007 (EDT)

Diction

Incorrect: ...the author explores her own issues of personal identity, which is a result of her lack of relation with the culture she lives in in America, and also the culture of her parents from India.

-Be Precise: Effective writing conveys information clearly and precisely.

Correct: ...the author explores her own issues of personal identity, which is a result of her inability to relate with the culture she lives in in America, and also the culture of her parents from India. Andy 11:51, 1 May 2007 (EDT)

Diction

Original: I support your fight against the state, but I urge you to not take out your frustrations on the students. Same Penguin as above. Corrected: Your claims against the state are warranted, but I urge you to not take out your frustrations on the students. Andy 15:18, 2 May 2007 (EDT)

Diction

Incorrect: “As a result of their actions, the girls and boys who starve themselves may/will end up with an eating disorder.”

Correct: As a result of their actions, the girls and boys who stave themselves may end up with an eating disorder.Phane88 13:16, 3 May 2007 (EDT)

Diction

Original: “By doing so, you would be sending the message that unfair practices are wrong, and that they need to be stopped or made into fair practices.”

Page/Reasoning: See Above.

Rewrite: “By doing this, you would send the message that unfair practices are wrong, and they need to be stopped or made into fair practices.”John? 09:04, 3 May 2007 (EDT)

Diction

Original: "They do not look as harmless as they seem."
Reasoning: Use specific language-Be precise. Effective writing conveys information clearly and precisely (p. 231; 18d).
Corrected: "They do not appear as harmless as they seem." Annerrs 12:22, 3 May 2007 (EDT)

Diction

Was

This essay is a perfect example of who I am, but even more so it is an example of how people who read pieces of mine always see me as someone I’m not.

Should Be

This essay is a perfect example of who I am, but even more so of how people who read pieces of mine always see me as someone I’m not.

Explanation page 231

The word example was used too many times in one sentence and sounded repetitive. I thought about putting a synonym in, but nothing really sounded right so I just removed it.TheFlyingScotsman 13:27, 3 May 2007 (EDT)

Diction

Unit 3

In chapter 39 page 349, Penguin Points go over the topic of Diction and Tips on Word Order.

Original Sentence: I believe the fight for legalizing, truly turns heads when the basis of the arguement is stone cold facts.

New Sentence: The fight for legalization, truly turns heads when the cornerstone of an arguement is stone cold facts. Paul 11:45, 3 May 2007 (EDT) [edit]

Unit 2

In Chapter 15 page 209, the Penguin Points go over the topic of Write with Power and the use of descriptive writing and write more clearly.

Original Sentence: The reader feels pretty bad for Gloria and wishes that a problem wouldn't come up in societies, it does. We cannot do anything now, but hopefully we will.

New Sentence: The reader can fell the pain Gloria has and hopes that a problem would not arise in any societies, but it does. We as a society can change this problem, but it will take time adn hopefully with patience we can create a resolution. Paul 11:52, 3 May 2007 (EDT Paul 14:52, 3 May 2007 (EDT)

Diction

Was

Freshman will be freshman and that entails the typical troubles freshman get themselves into, the best example of this being their use/misuse of alcohol.

Should Be

Freshman will be freshman and that entails the typical troubles freshman get themselves in to, the best example of this being their use/misuse of alcohol.

Penguin Page 231

Improper word use. TheFlyingScotsman 19:28, 4 May 2007 (EDT)

Diction

Incorrect: Although Kothari thrives to conform to her classmates dietary habits of bologna, bacon, and tuna fish while living with her parents, her tastes resort to those most familiar when taken out of context of her American household.

Correct: Although Kothari strives to conform to her classmates dietary habits of bologna, bacon, and tuna fish while living with her parents, her tastes resort to those most familiar when taken out of context of her American household. Fotomaki 12:53, 21 May 2007 (EDT)

Disrespectful Use Of Author's First Name

If you do not know a person personally, you should refer to them using their last name.

Incorrect: This is a question that Geeta had to learn how to answer.

Correct: This is a question that Kothari had to learn how to answer. Jessica 11:56, 26 April 2007 (EDT)

Incorrect: I've decided that the best way to show my research would be through proposing a bill.

Correct: I have decided that the best way to prove my arguement would be through proposing a bill. Jessica 18:50, 1 May 2007 (EDT)

Incorrect: "Gloria described what her own teachers used to do to her when she was not speaking English."

Correct: Anzaldua described what her own teachers used to do to her when she was not speaking English.Phane88 01:25, 2 May 2007 (EDT)

Disrespectful use of author's first name

-See above for reasoning

Incorrect: Gloria explains how language differs in her essay and states how labels are sometimes placed on someone because of one's speech.

Correct: Anzaldua explains how language differs in her essay and states how labels are sometimes placed on someone because of one's speech.

Incorrect: Gloria experiences the same while speaking Chicano Spanish.

Correct: Anzaldua experiences the same while speaking Chicano Spanish.

Incorrect: Gloria shows how language is different everywhere and Mexicans are distinguished between mexicanos del otro lado and mexicanos de este lado.

Correct: Anzaldua shows how language is different everywhere and Mexicans are distinguished between mexicanos del otro lado and mexicanos de este lado.

Incorrect: Gloria shows how she was affected by other's opinions and then she proves them wrong in the end by becoming a great writer and creating great pieces of work that were appreciated by many.

Correct: Anzaldua shows how she was affected by other's opinions and then she proves them wrong in the end by becoming a great writer and creating great pieces of work that were appreciated by many. Esco 14:02, 3 May 2007 (EDT)

Disrespectful use of an author’s first name

Original: “Geeta fears that she will lose much of her meaningful contact with her Indian culture.”

Page/Reasoning: NA. Formal essay should use the last names of cited authors.

Rewrite: “Kothari fears that she will lose much of her meaningful contact with her Indian culture.”John? 10:09, 1 May 2007 (EDT)

Incorrect: Since 18 year-olds were being given adult rights and resposibilities in all other regards, the right to purchase and consume alcohol should not be excluded.

Correct: Since eighteen year-olds are being given adult rights and resposibilities in all other regards, the right to purchase and consume alcohol should not be excluded. Jessica 19:03, 1 May 2007 (EDT)

Disrespect

Incorrect: "Gloria's love for Chicano music showed a softer side of her personality but there is more to culture than simply music and language."

Correct: Anzaldua's love for Chicano music showed a softer side of her personality but there is more to culture than simply music and language.Phane88 11:03, 3 May 2007 (EDT)

Ellipses

Incorrect: For my mother, however, lobster was just another American food, like tuna – different, strange, not natural yet somehow essential to belonging. Explanation: Except at the beginning of a quotation indicate omitted words with an ellipsis. Corrected: For my mother ... lobster was just another American food, like tuna – different, strange, not natural yet somehow essential to belonging. Dan 16:06, 2 May 2007 (EDT)

Ending sentences w/ prepositions

- a class of words that indicate relationships and qualities. (P.367)

Incorrect: “They only had one pair of shoes to wear until their color faded away, but they dealt with it no matter what because there was nothing they could do about it.”

Corrected: They only had a pair of shoes to wear until its color faded away, but they handled the situation well.Phane88 23:08, 2 April 2007 (EDT)

Ending sentences w/prepositions

Ending sentences with the to word to be or its form. Mistake- Coincidentally, that is where the Bush estate is. Penguin Book- (pg 249) Add the missing element to make sentences complete and smooth Corrected- Coincidentally, that is the where the Bush estate is located. Ksweets 19:30, 29 April 2007 (EDT)

Incorrect: Of the countries that do have minimum drinking limits there are twenty-six with the age at 18, five at the age of 16, and Canada is either 18 or 19 depending on the province in which one is in.

Correct: Of the countries that do have minimum drinking limits there are twenty-six with the age at eighteen, five at the age of sixteen, and Canada is either eighteen or nineteen depending on the province in which one lives. Jessica 19:24, 1 May 2007 (EDT)

Ending sentences w/prepositions

Incorrect: This leads to a greater distrust of authority, and more of a desire to speak out or act against it.

Use above Penguin.

Correct: This leads to a greater distrust of authority, and more of a desire to speak out or act against this authority. Andy 15:33, 2 May 2007 (EDT)

Ending sentences with a preposition

Original: “Geeta’s presence in an overwhelmingly American culture is what limits her ability to be as Indian as her mother, sad as it may seem, if Geeta continues to have far greater American cultural exposure, there is little chance she will share her mother’s deep Indian cultural abilities which she so greatly longs for.”

Page/Reasoning: 376. The last word “for” is a preposition which cannot end a sentence.

Rewrite: “Geeta’s presence in an overwhelmingly American culture is what limits her ability to be as Indian as her mother, sad as it may seem, if Geeta continues to have far greater American cultural exposure, there is little chance she will share her mother’s deep Indian cultural abilities for which she so greatly longs.”John? 10:06, 1 May 2007 (EDT)

Equivocation

- an equivocal statement or expression (not in handbook, found in dictionnary)

Incorrect: “The beauty of Haiti in my point of view means pain and suffering because a lot of people mistreat it and yet it is still beautiful.”

Corrected: The beauty of Haiti is known through pain and suffering.Phane88 22:27, 2 April 2007 (EDT)

Equivocation

Incorrect: "Why you ask, well I guess Gloria wanted to stick with one specific detail in her life..."

Corrected: Anzaldua wanted to stick with one specific detail in her life...Phane88 18:58, 2 May 2007 (EDT)

Equivocation

Equivocation.

Original: “I can react to the war on terror, but I have to interact with it first, maybe I read about in a newspaper or on the TV, but if I don’t know about it, it cannot become part of my identity.”

Page/Reasoning: NA. The word “interact” has multiple meanings. In my essay I intended it to mean “see” or “acknowledge”, but it appears to mean “physically contact”. This is known as the fallacy of equivocation. I should have used a word like “see” or “acknowledge”. I chose to rewrite the sentence completely because it makes the most sense if I do so.

Rewrite: “If I don’t know enough about the war on terror, I can not react to it, and therefore it cannot become part of my identity.”John? 11:42, 25 April 2007 (EDT)

Equivocation

Original: “Chances are you have seen images of children dying because their nation has little economic influence, and they cannot do anything about it.”

Page/Reasoning: See Above.

Rewrite: “Chances are you have seen images of children dying because their nation has little economic authority, and they cannot do anything about it.”John? 09:52, 3 May 2007 (EDT)

Equivocation

Original: "Two weeks ago while writing this essay I wasn’t really considering myself while writing it." Rewrite: "Two weeks ago while writing this essay I was not considering myself while writing it." Page/Reasoning: Not found, however it leaves people riding the fence, confused about what you mean in your paper.Mralexan 08:40, 20 May 2007 (EDT)

Equivocation

Incorrect: Although there are times for action and to pay close attention, one should always step back and remain neutral when approaching a new situation.

Correct: Although there are times for action, one should always step back and remain neutral when approaching a new situation. Fotomaki 13:31, 21 May 2007 (EDT)

Exaggeration

- overstating. (Not in handbook)

Incorrect: “As a kid my father was a very strict man”

Corrected: My father was a strict man.Phane88 22:16, 2 April 2007 (EDT)

Incorrect: "In the United States as well as around the world, there are a tremendous amount of diseases some are treatable and others are not such as cancer."

Correct: In the United States as well as around the world, there a lot of diseases, some are treatable and others are not, such as cancer.Phane88 20:08, 2 May 2007 (EDT)

Exaggeration

Original: “Geeta’s (father) vehemently pushes Indian culture on Geeta.”

Page/reasoning: NA. The word “vehemently” implies vigorous pushing of American culture on Kothari, which her father does not do.

Rewrite: “Geeta’s often tries to push Indian culture on Kothari, but with little success.”John? 10:07, 1 May 2007 (EDT)

Exaggeration

Incorrect: From her forced vegetarianism while living in London, Kothari realizes that her connection with her parents is rooted in their inability to suit their pallet to the foreign dishes that defy their religious beliefs and their stubborn palate.

Correct: From her change to vegetarianism while living in London, Kothari realizes that her connection with her parents is rooted in their inability to suit their pallet to the foreign dishes that defy their religious beliefs and their stubborn palate. Fotomaki 12:58, 21 May 2007 (EDT)

Exaggeration

Incorrect: I find myself approaching all tasks with measurable indifference, an attitude which has rewarded me with unexpected compliment, respect from my peers, and vast self knowledge.

Correct:I find myself approaching all tasks with measurable indifference, an attitude which has rewarded me with unexpected compliment, respect from my peers, and self knowledge. Fotomaki 13:31, 21 May 2007 (EDT)

Extra words

- (reduce wordy phrases) taking out any unnecessary words to make the sentence shorter (p.217-218)

Incorrect: “He had the opportunity to come here about thirty years ago and filed for his mother, his brothers, and sisters, which was a success (the process), and so began my new life in America.”

Corrected: Fortunately, he came to the US about thirty years ago and brought his closest family members with him.Phane88 22:20, 2 April 2007 (EDT)

Extra words

Extra Words Mistake-'My Country Tis’ of the Thee' This was my title and I had an extra word in it which was “the”. Corrected- My Country Tis of Thee Ksweets 19:28, 29 April 2007 (EDT)

Extra words

Incorrect: The author could have probably used many different aspects of any culture to write about her struggle, but the thig she chooses to focus on is the eating habits of the two cultures, and how she falls somewhere in between.

Correct: The author could have used many aspects of any culture to write about her struggle, but Kothari chose to focus on the eating habits of the two cultures. Andy 11:53, 1 May 2007 (EDT)

Incorrect: Of the countries that do have minimum drinking limits there are twenty-six with the age at 18, five at the age of 16, and Canada is either 18 or 19 depending on the province in which one is in.

Correct: Of the countries that do have minimum drinking limits there are twenty-six with the age at eighteen, five at the age of sixreen, and Canada is either eighteen or nineteen depending on the province in which one lives. Jessica 19:15, 1 May 2007 (EDT)

Extra Words

Complex sentence/Run-on.

Original: “If I were bored, I may get out some paper and a pencil and draw a car, I have reacted to my boredom by giving myself something to do, I also chose to do something I knew would end my boredom-I chose something that is an interest of mine, and part of my identity.”

Page/Reasoning: 251. This sentence is a run-on sentence because the ideas are improperly separated by commas or hyphens rather then periods and new sentences.

Rewrite: “If I were bored, I may get out some paper and a pencil and draw a car. I have reacted to my boredom by giving myself something to do. I also chose to do something I knew would end my boredom, I chose something that is an interest of mine, and part of my identity.”John? 11:42, 25 April 2007 (EDT)

Extra words

Original: “As I read the essay, I found myself making the following conclusion: Our surroundings are what dictate our culture, even though we may desire a different culture, the culture around you is the culture inside you.”

Page/Reasoning: 219. The first part of the sentence is an expletive which is assumed and unnecessary.

Rewrite: “Our surroundings are what dictate our culture, even though we may desire a different culture, the culture around you is the culture inside you.”John? 10:04, 1 May 2007 (EDT)

Extra words

The use of it.

Incorrect: It should not matter how one speaks as long as their point gets across and it is understood.

Correct: It should not matter how one speaks as long as their point gets across and is understood. Esco 13:40, 1 May 2007 (EDT)

Incorrect: Anzaldua has this problem in the Chicano society and it caused her to get criticism and give her own criticism about the language.

Correct: Anzaldua has this problem in the Chicano society that causes her to give and receive criticism about the language. Esco 13:50, 1 May 2007 (EDT)

Extra Words

Original: "Sure, the diamonds hanging around your neck may look fabulous on you but have you ever wondered where they originated?"
Reasoning: Eliminate unnecessary words. Empty words resemble the foods that add calories without nutrition (p. 217; 16a).
Corrected: "Sure, the diamonds hanging around your neck may look fabulous but have you ever wondered where they originated?" Annerrs 12:28, 3 May 2007 (EDT)

F

G

Hyphen

- handy punctuation marks when you want to link words or parts of words. They often give the reader clues about the meaning of a word or sentence. (p. 300)

Incorrect: “They went from having a pair of shoes for three to four years to living in America debt free and some of them even own their own home including my parents.”

Corrected: They went from having a pair of shoes for three to four years to living in America debt-free and some of them even bought a home including my parents.Phane88 22:27, 2 April 2007 (EDT)

Hyphenation/Dashes

Hyphenation/Dashes.

Original: “…I also chose to do something I knew would end my boredom-I chose something that is an interest of mine…”

Page/Reasoning: 303. The dash between boredom and I should not be there, hyphens are only used with compound modifiers and with compound nouns. There should be a comma between boredom and I.

Rewrite: “…I also chose to do something I knew would end my boredom, I chose something that is an interest of mine…”John? 11:42, 25 April 2007 (EDT)

Hyphens

Original: “That isn’t to say that the Aura is a cheaply made, rough car for people who need inexpensive transport, the Saturn Aura was the 2007 North American car of the year, beating out the all new 2007 Toyota Camry (Gold par. 1-5).”

Page/Reasoning: 301. See above. “all new” should be “all-new”.

Rewrite: “That isn’t to say that the Aura is a cheaply made, rough car for people who need inexpensive transport: the Saturn Aura was the 2007 North American car of the year, beating out the all-new 2007 Toyota Camry (Gold par. 1-5).”John? 10:03, 3 May 2007 (EDT)

Hyphens

Incorrect: I would move once more to Umass a few months later, but with new-found encouragement from my friends and greater respect from my past professors.

Correct: I would move once more to Umass a few months later, but with new found encouragement from my friends and greater respect from my past professors. Fotomaki 13:34, 21 May 2007 (EDT)

Hyphens With Compound Modifiers

Original: "The exportation of conflict diamonds, also known as blood diamonds, is a multi billion dollar industry."
Reasoning: Hyphenate a compound that precedes a noun. A compound modifier consists of words that join together as a unit to modify a noun (p. 300; 29a).
Corrected: "The exportation of conflict diamonds, also know as blood diamonds, is a multi-billion dollar industry." Annerrs 12:39, 3 May 2007 (EDT)

In-Text Citations

Info on the Bibliographic Referencing and In-Text Citations page.

In-Text Citations

Incorrect: Kothari states the following about her parents; “They are supposed to help us negotiate the world outside, teach us the signs, the clues to proper behavior; what to eat and how to eat it.”

Correct: Kothari states the following about her parents; “They are supposed to help us negotiate the world outside, teach us the signs, the clues to proper behavior; what to eat and how to eat it”(Kothari 22). Fotomaki 13:04, 21 May 2007 (EDT)

It/It's

Original: The campus police began it's increase in 2002 after a string of violent crimes.

Penguin: Pg. 308 Nouns and indefinite pronouns that indicate possession or ownership are in the possessive case. The possessive case is marked by attaching an apostrophe and an -s or an apostrophe only to the end of the word.

Corrected: The campus police began its increase in 2002 after a string of violent crimes. Andy 15:23, 2 May 2007 (EDT)

J

K

Lists

Was

This, as can be expected led me to poor grades, a sense of uselessness and a dislike of any class that requires lots of writing assignments.

Should Be

This, as can be expected, led me to poor grades, a sense of uselessness, and a dislike of any class that requires lots of writing assignments.

Explanation page 288

The first comma was added because it was a mistake from earlier that I fixed. The second comma was added because any list of three or greater earns a comma before each item in the list.TheFlyingScotsman 13:27, 3 May 2007 (EDT)