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Self In Contradiction

We will be spending a lot of time together this semester and this introductory essay is meant to be a means of complicating our first impressions of each other and illustrating that we each, despite (or as a result of) our appearances, have made conscious and unconscious choices about how and why we represent ourselves in a particular way. We often sense or feel that the "self" we present within various contexts (at school, at work, with certain friends) is necessarily partial or fragmented and this sense of "fragmentation" can be a starting point for this essay.

For example, the term "self" seems to imply something unitary and elemental. We are who we are, right? But there are also labels and signifiers applied to us by others that may or may not fit with our sense of ourselves. For example, someone could be identified as a white, middle-class, Catholic woman, but not agree with the set of assumptions that these labels apply. Most of us do not identify one single characteristic that makes up this sense of our "self". Similarly, such terms do not convey to any of us the richness or the heritage behind each signifier. We belong to many organizations that may have opposing belief systems, and we sometimes embody identities that can seem confusing to ourselves as well as to others. We have friends, acquaintances and/or relatives whom we challenge or who challenge us about our "truths." For example, we may not accept all aspects of our religion, or our sense of spirituality may conflict with that of our friends' or relatives' and we sometimes have ideas that upon closer inspection, or when viewed by someone else, are highly ambiguous or even at odds with what we profess. In certain contexts, we may even find ourselves acting in ways that don't really reflect our beliefs or we may find ourselves excelling at unexpected moments.

For this essay, I ask that you use writing as a way to "think through" seeming contradictions or fragmentations you embody or that you recognize as existing within yourself. You will share that process of "discovery" with your classmates and me, your teacher, as a means of introducing yourself to us. Try to use this assignment as a means of negotiating contexts. What various seemingly contradictory or unarticulated aspects of our identities construct us as students, writers, thinkers and knowers? How might these seeming contradictions lead us to use writing as a means of discovery, as a way of thinking through writing, and act as a "lens" for us to reflect on the ways various assumptions and/or truths have shaped our sense of self? What aspects of that process are you willing to share within this type of academic setting?

As you work through writing practice, peer review, and the drafting process, pay attention to those things that seem incongruous, or that you have taken for granted or assume to be "true." Upon closer inspection, do these things signify something different than you may have first thought, or that you have been taught to think? These seeming contradictions tend to contain "rich" material; they are the junctions of belief systems and can signify intersecting aspects of our identities. Exploring these further can lead to an essay that not only helps your classmates learn more about you but also hopefully help you discover new insights about yourself.