Please copy the sequence of subheadings in all teams. Notice it is organized in reverse order from the sequence of questions discussed in class. This is how I want you to start thinking & writing: not to repeat the chronology but to sift and sort by significance!

Contents 1 Communicating Intimately: Final Team Papers 2 Tannen 2.1 Team Essay 2.2 Our Most Important Lesson From Reading 2.3 Top Three Questions/Insights about IPC/Language & Social Interaction 2.4 Key Communication Concepts across all three articles 2.5 Connecting Tannen 2.6 Comparing & Contrasting Foeman & Nance with Gore 3 Rosenthal, Gifford & Moore 3.1 Our Single Most Important Learning 3.2 Top Three Questions/Insights about IPC/Language & Social Interaction 3.3 Key Communication Concepts across all three articles 3.4 Connecting Rosenthal, Gifford & Moore 3.5 Comparing & Contrasting Foeman & Nance with Gore 4 Clinchy 4.1 Final Essay 4.2 Our Single Most Important Learning 4.3 Top Three Questions/Insights about IPC/Language & Social Interaction 4.4 Key Communication Concepts across all three articles 4.5 Connecting Clinchy 4.6 Comparing & Contrasting Foeman & Nance with Gore 5 Lyle & Gehart-Brooks 5.1 Our Team Essay 5.2 Our Single Most Important Learning 5.3 Top Three Questions/Insights about IPC/Language & Social Interaction 5.4 Key Communication Concepts across all three articles 5.5 Connecting Lyle & Gehart-Brooks 5.6 Comparing & Contrasting Foeman & Nance with Gore 5.7 Intrapersonal Communication 5.8 Self Saturation 5.9 Communication is the biggest factor of a Relationship

Communicating Intimately: Final Team Papers

All four papers are posted together at Consciousness: Communicating Intimately.

Tannen

Team Essay

Our Team Essay

Our Most Important Lesson From Reading

After reading "The Buzz Buzz Boom," Tannen's article and Foeman and Nance's article our group cold definetly agree that the main point that is so similar in these articles and what lesson we got out of them, was that people coming from different backgrounds, whether it be disabilities, gender, or race, have issues with communication. In "The Buzz Buzz Boom" Dean and MaryAnn have to deal with Dean being deaf. Some of the struggles include they may not understand each other or misinterpret one another sometimes because they have different forms of communication, one sign language, one verbal. They need to break past these barriers to correctly interpret what the other is saying. "And she muttered, 'You know, I'm glad that you're not as picky as Jerry.'" The important part of this quote is "she muttered" in that form of verbal communication it is easy for there to be misunderstandings and mis communications in one another, all relating back to that different background fact. To quote another line from "The Buzz Buzz Boom" " But do you realize im not hearing it with my ears but with my whole body?" Dean says to his uncle. Because of Dean coming from a different background, meaning his disability, he cannot understand his uncle well and his uncle cannot understand his ways. The next article by Foeman and Nance that relates to this communication theory is "Building New Culture, Reframing Old Images: Success Strategies of Interracial Couples." Interracial couples are a perfect example of coming from different backgrounds. These individuals have very different pasts and family history's and a lot of the time different experiences growing up with how they were treated. Each individual has to respect that, especially in a relationship, in order for the relationship to work. "Emerging racial sensitivity is an important subphase because it fosters the development and understanding that previously would have been unattainable to either partner in a single race relationship. Such insight will probably change each partners view of the world regardless of the future course of the relationship." Their having this experience of communicating with other races will change their view on many things. "Both partners must explain their basic assumptions to a paradoxically unfamiliar and intimate other." They have to explain their views and opinions in order for proper communication to happen. The final article. "DIfferent Words, Different Worlds; You Just Dont Understand" by Deborah Tannen explains the challenges of different genders communicating. When having a discussion with her husband Deborah says "I didnt understand why he reacted the way he did." A women could see a suggestion as helpful and caring while a male sees it as challenging and degrading. In order for relationships to work and to not have trouble communicating we need to know and establish these communication differences between men and women. Communication problems come for many reasons but especially between people of different race, gender, or disability, as presented in the article we have read.--Chelseag68 22:53, 10 November 2010 (EST)

Top Three Questions/Insights about IPC/Language & Social Interaction

Key Communication Concepts across all three articles

Although there are a few key communication concepts across all three articles we read, the one that stands out the most is that everyone communicates differently. Groups of people communicate differently than other groups and even on the individual level people communicate differently. For example, men communicate differently than women, African Americans communicate differently than Asians, and deaf people communicate differently than hearing people. Knowing this helps us understand each other and interact easier. --D.Robinson 01:35, 15 November 2010 (EST)

Connecting Tannen

• Interpersonal communication between intimate couples. Foeman/Nance focus more on the IPC between interracial couples whereas Tannen focuses more on the actual communicating and less on the racial aspect.
• The ways speech acts can be misinterpreted and misunderstood. The different ways in which men and women protray emotions in a shared situation.
• How culture and society ("norms") define how we communicate in intimate relationships, and also non-intimate relationships.
• The difference in the natures of men and women and how they are relayed through speech acts and other forms of communication

Sarah Ellis 17:52, 14 November 2010 (EST)

Comparing & Contrasting Foeman & Nance with Gore

In a relationship wether interracial or not what are the differences between the ways Men and Women view communication?

Tannen said that husbands view world as many men do: as an individual in a hierarchical social order in which he was either one up or one down.

The wife approaches as many women do; as an individual in a network connections. Women are concerned with achieving status and avoiding failure. --Dipiero 00:24, 15 November 2010 (EST)

We found the major similarities between the articles to be social scrutiny: being deaf vs. interracial couple racial awareness. There are sometimes insecurities facing "differences" between people in an intimate relationship or even just "differences" in people in general. In the case of Gore's story, The Buzz Buzz Boom, this is represented by Uncle Richard, who does not support Dean as a person. Instead, he keeps trying to change him: "But he didn't never give me no time of my life, never shared no buzz buzz boom" (3). Richard was always focused on getting Dean to hear. In Foeman and Nance's article, they talk about how an interracial couple may "come out" and tell society about their relationship: "According to our findings a partner who chooses to``come out’’may risk being framed``an Oreo’’ (a Black person who``thinks s/he is White’’) or a``wigger’’ (a White person who``thinks s/he is Black’’) and labeled an outsider or traitor" (240). Society puts pressure on these differences and "the pressure can try even the most attracted partners’ commitments to pursue the relationship" (240).

Our group also contemplated whether or not Mary Ann was white. In the BBB, she calls herself "Lolita," which led us to think that Mary Ann is not white.

We also discussed the idea of identity emergence as Dean and Mary Ann begin to try and figure out their lives and their relationship. In Foeman and Nance's article, they determine that "those around them [the interracial couple] may criticize or predict negative outcomes or challenge the couple’s choices and, in response, the couple may draw together to learn to respond to these assaults" (244). The outside pressure from society may end up creating the idea of identity emergence in these relationships.

--Mcliu 19:23, 16 November 2010 (EST)

Rosenthal, Gifford & Moore

Our Single Most Important Learning

Note: the completed essay, "Trust is a Must", is posted under

Consciousness

Communicating Intimately

which is a move from its original location. Steph^(talk) 16:20, 20 November 2010 (EST)

• Since the beginning of the year when we first read The Buzz Buzz Boom by Seth Gore, we have all been going through an interesting learning experience. Our group was assigned to the readings by Rosenthal, Gifford and Moore about Safe Sex, and Interracial Couples. In comparison to The Buzz Buzz Boom by Seth Gore our articles we were assigned to read tied into the story line because the intimacy level between Dean and MaryAnn tied into the Safe Sex category, and technically Dean and MaryAnn go through the same challenges of an interracial couple because of Dean’s disability. From Foeman’s article on interracial relationships Dean and MaryAnn suffer in their relationship because they are worried and insecure about being with someone different, and Foeman brings up these insecurities when he discusses his article. Both have to accept and respect the relationship and work through the judgments and prejudice of the people around them. We learned how basically anything can tie into Seth Gore’s article because the story of Dean and MaryAnn is so real. Relationships are so hard with anyone, but Dean and MaryAnn have to suffer more because of Dean’s disability and his insecurities with himself. Also when it comes to loving someone, sexual contact is vital in expressing one’s emotions, and if one is insecure with them as a person then their insecurity will tear the relationship apart. We feel that insecurity can completely alter interpersonal communicating because when someone is insecure in themselves they cannot communicate healthily because there is no trust. In order to build lasting relationships with anyone trust is a must, and if you do not trust someone that can tie into the entire anticipated response theory. When one is insecure, they do not believe in the dynamic going on, and they anticipate the conversation failing therefore nothing can build because the expecting of the failure causes nothing to build from it. Interracial couples is a lot like MaryAnn and Dean, and because of the battles they face Dean is afraid to get emotionally attached to her. We learned that both tie into each other and have hidden meanings. --Kkoswick 19:05, 11 November 2010 (EST)

Top Three Questions/Insights about IPC/Language & Social Interaction

• interpersonal communication in intimate relationships
• diversity in relationships
• issues couples face in society

• When these questions arose our group had a lot to put forth because these are issues that every couple faces regardless of a disability, sex, race, or gender. From discussion we all thought that "Each couple has different problems, but in the end they are all working towards the same thing. To make the relationship work, and build a strong bond. This comes from communication." Communicating interpersonally is vital when trying to build any relationship in general. The foundation of connection comes from being able to talk about anything, and finding another person who truly understands all your wants and needs. Dean and MaryAnn are forced to communicate differently than most couples due to Dean's disability, but because they do communicate the only way Dean can, and from MaryAnn's patience and understanding, Dean let's down his guard and is willing to let her in in the end. In relation to the article on interracial couples, the struggles of the relationship come from judgement and insecurity. Whether being in the outside world, or one on one in the couple, insecurity puts up an invisible wall that is hard to break down and causes distance leading to the failure of a relationship building. This comes from no communication, and in interracial couples it is discussed how the insecurity of being with someone different puts a toll on one emotionally. In the article it discusses how family, friends, work, school, etc. They all tie into the stresses of an interracial couple which leads to the insecurity in the relationship, and the insecurities of each individual trying to make it work. On an intimate level communication is vital as well because in order to be intimate in a passionate manner two people need to have a ground breaking relationship. In the article on Safe Sex, it is discussed how men and women would much rather sleep with someone they are in love with because the sexual activity has that much more of a high. In order to be in love with someone, some sort of relationship needs to be there, and this relationship stems and grows from communicating interpersonally. Dean is afraid of his vulnerability when it comes to MaryAnn because it is obvious that he loves her. Having sex with her, being with her on an intimate level causes that much more of a connection and desire to be with her, and this is both portrayed in The Buzz Buzz Boom and in the article discussing Safe Sex.
• Diversity in relationships can vary on many occasions. In regards to Dean and MaryAnn the diversity is that Dean is deaf while MaryAnn is not. In an interracial couple one partner is one race while another is a different race. Diversity can be interpreted as a lot of things. To some it is portrayed as negative whereas to others it is seen as positive. Diversity can be thrown into so many different traits such as personality, looks, athleticism, race, gender, sex. They all vary, and it seems in every relationship there is always diversity in some way, and this diversity is a test for the couple to see if they can make it through something that is not familiar. Interracial couples are the definition of diversity to our society today. Because two different races are mixing it is unfamiliar to the outside world, and sometimes this causes obstacles to fight through. Being intimate while being insecure is almost near impossible. If one is insecure with them self then it is going to be that much harder to be secure with another person.
• Regardless the situation there are always going to be people in the world that are going to be prejudice towards what is unfamiliar to their own personal views. Interracial couples have to deal with the criticism of people who are not willing to accept the love between two people when it is not the "right" way for it to happen. In Dean and MaryAnn's case, Dean is insecure with himself and see's himself differently than everyone else around him. By being different he is insecure being with someone who is considered "normal" to the outside world, but in the year 2010 what is honestly normal anymore?

• As we have previously stated, diversity in couples leads to insecurity. This is a result of the affects of judgement from the outside world. Whether a couple is dealing with differences in race, like the article describes, or differences in communication, like Dean and MaryAnn's situation, they must get past the barriers created for them for by the rest of society. The insecurity that stems from these differences is a result of being aware of, and in a way-giving in to, the prejudice and judgmental views of the outside world. No person wants to admit that they see a problem with two different cultures mixing in an intimate way but maybe people hold the view that it is not ok. In an interracial relationship the participants commonly have to face resistance from family members and friends- people who are closest to them. While on top of that, the majority of society also feels the same way. In Dean and MaryAnn's case the main outside reaction Dean knew was of his Uncle Richard, and this was not a positive one at all. Uncle Richard stands portrays the rest of society in the article "The Buzz Buzz Boom" in the way that he installs insecurity into the relationship of Dean and MaryAnn. The diversity in the relationship becomes a problem simply because of the way it is viewed from other people. Another commonality is the idea of communication. Being honest and open in a relationship can break down the initial barriers and allow for the insecurities to faed away. By accepting the differences of the other partner the relationship can move along without worry. By communicating and connecting with one another couples can become closer and get past these differences. Communication then leads to a closer trusting bond which comes along with an intimate relationship. As discussed in the article "Safe Sex or Safe Love," intercourse then becomes an act of love opposed to a one night stand.

Key Communication Concepts across all three articles

• communication in intimate relationships
• communication issues within couples & between couples and society
• anticipated response

Connecting Rosenthal, Gifford & Moore

• the use of interpersonal and intrapersonal communication between intimate couples
• use of anticipated response (Pearce)
• game play
• the importance of time/era in relationships. Today people are more accepting of different or diverse intimate relationships than they were in the past.
• cultural revolution, always changing. Which relates back to how people are more accepting of different relationships

Comparing & Contrasting Foeman & Nance with Gore

• intimate relationships between different groups of people and couples. example: interracial or deaf & hearing couples
• insecurities of being with someone "different"
• multicultural relationships
• both individuals in the relationship have to accept and respect each others differences in order to have a successful relationship
• in both relationships, some people didn't understand the relationship or the people. example: uncle richard
• all of the relationships face challenges and pressures from the outside world/society

Clinchy

Final Essay

Final Essay

Our Single Most Important Learning

We discussed briefly as a group that the most important thing we learned through talking out both articles as well as relating Foeman's article with Seth Gore is the unfinished creative process. This is because it tied all the articles together.

Top Three Questions/Insights about IPC/Language & Social Interaction

Instead of questions, we came up with more of insights/concepts to describe the both articles (Foeman and Clinchy) and relating the two.

• The stages in a relationship
• Unfinished creative process.
• What type of knower you are.

We then saw that the unfinished creative process connects what type of knower you are and also the stages in a relationship. It was the common ground in both, making what type of knower you are connect with stages in a relationship. Stages in a relationship connects with the unfinished creative process with the common ground of something never being finished. The unfinished creative process relates with what type of knower you are with the reaction of other people you will get. (the reaction with certain knower always has a response.)

Key Communication Concepts across all three articles

All three articles go through stages, and processes that always have responses. This being the communication concept/theory of unfinished creative process approach. In this people are going to always have a response to what you say, or who you are as a person or couple. The SPEAKING model can relate to all three as well in the fact of having "norms" and "act sequences." We came up with this because relationships have norms and stages that they go through, and also always have a certain sequence in progress or conversation.

Connecting Clinchy

• separate knowing and connected knowing can relate to the unfinished creative process in the fact that people are always going to have a response to you wether it be negative (separate knowing) or positive (connected knowing)
• the type of knower you are (separate or connected) can relate to norms. This is because norms is what is "normal" for the topic; what is always done, such like a procedure. The procedure can also be something like an act sequence as well.
• You have to go through a procedure for whatever the norm is, as well as the type of knower. With the type of knower, their is a certain procedure you need to take depending on which knower you are.

Comparing & Contrasting Foeman & Nance with Gore

Our group noticed that Foeman's article on interracial relationships can compare with Seth Gores concepts in the Buzz Buzz Boom by:

• the fact of 'becoming aware" wether it be with becoming aware of attraction; the first step in a relationship as Foeman says, or becoming aware of language differences; such like Dean being deaf and the issues that come with a vocal speaker and a non vocal speaker. Uncle Richard needs to become aware of Dean being deaf and accept it or they cannot move forward in their relationship. In an interracial relationship, they need to become aware of their attraction to move forward in their relationship.
• A quote that we found important was: "Communication shapes and reshapes the relationship between couples and culture." The obvious fact is that an interracial relationship needs communication to shape the way couples and cultures combine to one. How this relates to Seth Gore's Buzz Buzz Boom is that communication for Dean was how he shaped his relationships with people. Others need to understand his way of communicating and how important it is to him for other cultures (vocal speakers) to relate to him.
• The term "racial place" was used in Foeman's article, meaning how a racial group is treated in society. This relates to the Buzz Buzz Boom in that it goes along with the Deaf culture, and how differently they are treated, much like an interracial couple. Others not of their culture don't fully understand the others point of view. In essence, this term can be used in any minority group of difference.

---

"Communication shapes and reshapes the relationship between couple and culture" (pg. 238) The communication struggles that Mary Ann and Dean face and overcame shape the way their relationship functioned. Dean being deaf, therefore from a different culture makes the couple an interracial couple. Because Dean is deaf it changes the way they interact and the different problems they faced.

"Attraction for an interracial couple is both an interpersonal and cultural experience"(pg. 239) Mary Ann knows, and understands how to communicate with Dean and she can sense when he is ready to talk. Dean is attracted to Mary Ann because she does understand him and she doesn't push him to talk when he doesn't want to. Unlike Uncle Richard, Dean didn't enjoy being in his presence because they did not have the interpersonal experience to create an interracial couple or relationship. (not in any type of romantic way, just a relationship between uncle and nephew).

"In couple where backgrounds and attitudes are most challenged by an interracial relationship, the partners may have a difficult time reconciling inconsistent world views, cultures, and goals in maintaining their relationship." (pg. 243) All throughout the story of The Buzz Buzz Boom, they are trying to figure out their goals in the relationship that they have. Since both Mary Ann and Dean come from different cultures and backgrounds they are struggling to come to an agreement on what they want to do with their relationship. They don't know if they should take it to the next step, and they are not sure what they want from each other. Ddavies 20:37, 14 November 2010 (EST)

Lyle & Gehart-Brooks

Our Team Essay

Maintaining a Relationship Through Communication

There are many aspects in a relationship that if not maintained or changed can lead to a split. Relationship terms need to be agreed upon by both partners. The only way to go about this is through communication. Good communication skills are needed in a relationship to insure that it does not end up in a divorce. To maintain a successful relationship, communication as an unfinished process and product is vital in working through issues and voicing certain needs.
,

The unfinished process relates to the construction of the conversation when communicating. In regards to relationships this can shape the entire relationship, based on the level of communication. The unfinished process based on the Wittgensteinian approach explains how speech acts are never completed. This approach, rather, looks at the act of communicating as an ongoing process. This concludes with no product, because communication is never finished. It takes the play-by-play perspective, which is useful in the comprehension of interpersonal communication. In relationships, this theory would view them as a process and never a product. It is as though through communication, we constantly feed the flame of the relationship (Pearce, 115-116).

The saturated self is the result of a modern dilemma called “multiphrenia”. Multiphrenia “refers to ‘the splitting of an individual into multiple self-investments’” (Lyle). The splitting of selves is due to multiple modern technologies and innovations. Cell phones, instant messaging, social networks, and Internet sites in general are the cause. “Expanding social networks encourage continual comparisons with others, also increasing the standards for evaluating one’s current relationships.” (Lyle). When people look at other relationships and lives they naturally begin to compare their own lives to these models. “’Entering a relationship with a multiplicity of potentials, each a possible invalidation of the other, makes it enormously difficult to locate steady forms of relatedness.’” (Lyle). This causes a multiple self by people seeing different areas of interest and incorporating them into their lives. While this seems like a beneficial part of these communication tools it can pay a major toll on relationships; problems that must be dealt with through communication skills. As relationships continue, they keep evolving through different experiences and events that occur within a relationship. Due to "Multiphrenia" there is a higher chance of adultery, and if this does happen within a couple, then the whole product of the relationship will take a turn for the worst and have issues. This is an example of how even after marriages, relationships are never finished and complete and drastically change for better or worse.

When a person in a relationship becomes self saturated often their thoughts are pulled in many directions, taking the focus off of their relationship. The person’s thought may shift to other areas of interest and they begin to “speak only for themselves”(Lyle) instead of speak in the interest of maintaining the relationship. That same person may also realize new wants and needs they require from their loved one. “The multiple selves of the populated self present an additional barrier to committed relationships. Each of the various voices within demands additional evaluation criteria of one’s partner.” (Lyle). The only way to combat such issues is through communication. Couples must express their new interest to each other. They must tell their partner about their new hobbies, areas of study, relationship needs, and aspects of the other person they are beginning to have issues with due to multiphrenia. “Such conversations open up a normalizing or externalizing conversation (Freedman & Combs, 1996; White & Epston, 1990) and allow couples to explore their situation from a new perspective.” (Lyle). If couples do not have such conversations a split in the relationship is imminent. When people communicate to a partner their new interests and needs, the partner may identify with some of these points and the couple will then have another shared aspect in the relationship. New knowledge of the interest and of each partner’s point of views (likes and dislikes) will be obtained and each person can grow in the relationship. “Potential selves are realized through new forms of relationships that allow for new knowledge to develop”(p. 249). Like the unfinished process of language, the relationship will never cease to grow and change as new interests and ideas are brought from each partner.

The Romantic and Modernism perspectives on relationships mostly emphasize a “singular self”. According to Gergen the change from the Romantic and Modern perspectives to the Post-modernism perspective is evident in “the radical changes in socialization patterns in the United States allowed by new technologies that have altered the way people perceive their identity and their relationships with others.”(Lyle) In other words, where as the Romantic and Modern perspectives have to do with possessing a singular self, the Post-modern perspective emphasizes multiple selves. Multiple selves or self saturation can contribute to divorce because it is hard to maintain a long term relationship when the partners’ ideas and identities are changing. The constant changing of selves within a relationship, which is the post-modernism view, is part of the unfinished process because no product is every reached. Whenever people are changing, in this case due to new technologies, the relationship never reaches a stopping point- it is always progressing.

Intrapersonal communication is language use or thought internal to the communicator. Each person has internal thoughts that some believe is public in nature. "I wish to suggest, in contradiction, that thought is predominantly public and social. It occurs primarily on blackboards, in dances, and in recited poems. The capacity of private thought is derived and secondary talent, one that appears biographically later in the person and historically later in the species. Thought is public because it depends on a publicly available stock of symbols." (Carey). But in relationships, intrapersonal communication is not always shared with the partner. Many times internal thoughts occur and are not shared due to fear of rejection or misunderstanding. This can cause built up resentment towards another within the relationship and lead to divorce. “An open dialogue” (Lyle) is vital when referencing intrapersonal thought in communications with a loved one. The only way to reach a relationship that is beneficial for both persons is to externalize internalized thoughts each person has about the other and their relationship. The process of externalizing these internal thoughts, is what proves that a relationship is always an unfinished product. Relationships are a constant ongoing process, due to these internal thoughts. The two people the the relationship will always have their own thoughts, questions or goals. Keeping them from your partner leads to the lack of communication thus a roadblock in creating the product. That is why portraying these internal thoughts is imperative to having a healthy relationship. Intrapersonal communication is very important in having a healthy and succesfull realtionship. When these internal thoughts come out a new process begins adding to the one that is already occuring. Thus a relationship is an unfinished product.

Non-verbal communication is non-vocal language conveying a message to a receiver. It surprisingly can be as important to a relationship as verbal communication. In Foeman’s article about interracial relationships, he spoke about non-verbal communication from onlookers to the relationship. “Coming out of the closet [making their interracial relationship public] may trigger intense scrutiny about an interracial couple.” (Foeman). While this scrutiny may include verbal questioning and assault, it often is seen through facial remarks, staring, and gestures aimed at the couple. When couples are faced with these non-verbal assaults the best way to deal with the issue is communicating with each other about how they feel and react to these situation. If couples do not do this, the people might be confused about how to handle themselves in these situations. If one person is more sensitive to the non-verbal messages then the other it is important for this to be communicated to the partner so they can act in accordance to their feelings. The relationship as an unfinished product is seen here in that the couple is still learning how to react to each other in this certain situation. But, even when they learn this their relationship is still changing due to the fact that each situation is different and requires a different response form each partner.

Non-verbal communication and intrapersonal communication play roles in relationships. If used properly and to their full extent, they can maintain a relationship and reinforce relationships that are faltering. One reason for faltering is self-saturation, which is a consequence of modern technology. People’s focus can move away from their loved one and cause rifts in the partnership. But with successfully used communication skills relationships can be saved and maintained. --Hmonahan 17:22, 18 November 2010 (EST) Ktrychon 11:14, 19 November 2010 (EST)

Our Single Most Important Learning

Relationships of all kinds, rely on one thing healthy communication. In all three articles this is found to be a common conclusion. If a person drasticaly changes at one point in the relationship, and they are no longer able to communicate effectivly with their partner the relationship will fail.Ktrychon 00:36, 15 November 2010 (EST)

Top Three Questions/Insights about IPC/Language & Social Interaction

1. What is necessary /vital communication in order for a successful intercultural relationship?
2. How does personality changes affect communication in a relationship?
3. Why does society have a hard time accepting intercultural relationships?

Ktrychon 23:48, 10 November 2010 (EST)

Key Communication Concepts across all three articles

~RELATIONSHIPS~

• having healthy communication in the relationship will lengthen your marriage
• Interpersonal Communication
• If a couple can't communicate they will not last

Ex. Dean + MaryAnn --> need to settle their issues to work out their relationship

• ^Non-verbal communication can make it harder, but they are able to communicate. Dean needs to work on communicating better with MaryAnn

• Divorce Article
• Developing different personas-->make it very hard for your partner
• Affects IPC--> the change makes you less compatable

Ktrychon 23:44, 10 November 2010 (EST)

Connecting Lyle & Gehart-Brooks

• MaryAnn wants the specifics-->No gray areas

• Dean doesnt know what he wants-->Nor does he understand how to give it to her

• Non-verbal communication /interpersonal communication/intrapersonal communication --> can work and be presant at the same moment

Ktrychon 23:39, 10 November 2010 (EST)

Comparing & Contrasting Foeman & Nance with Gore

Comparisions

• Public eye-->not easily accepted

• Coping Stage & identity emergence

Differences-Gore

• 2 Cultures --> 2gether

• Communities

• Disability

• Form of a story

Differeneces-Foeman & Nance

• Interacial Couples

• 4 stages of relationships

• Factual Information

Ktrychon 23:35, 10 November 2010 (EST)

Intrapersonal Communication

1. This link is to a quote by Carey on Symbolic Processes.

• The quote says that thought is public and social in nature. I disagree because thought is an internal process that we use outside resources to reference or come to conclusions with. While we socialize by sharing our thoughts, the first step is an internal process.

--Hmonahan 22:05, 14 November 2010 (EST)

Self Saturation

"Developing different personas" is the concept that I will examine for my team's essay. In regards to Divorce, Lyle and Gehart-Brooks discuss the new age phenomenon of "social saturation" and "self saturation". Social Saturation is when a person develops different likes/dislikes and character identity from constantly using different technologies like dating websites, Facebook, Twitter, etc. The rapid use of the internet has resulted in global shrinking, which allows people to communicate more frequently, therefore, they can form new identities through these technologies and hide these identities from their partner. In addition to hiding these new identities, people involved in a long term relationship may realize that the person they once married has now changed. This is self saturation in a post modernism perspective.

Some Important Quotes:

"fractional relationships"- short term "Multiphrenia" "The splitting of an individual into multiple self investments" "The self is a fixed and knowledgeable entity that can be understood through reason and observation." "Expanding social networks encourage comparing with others, which also increases the standards for evaluating one's current relationships" --Rosey Allen 19:46, 11 November 2010 (EST)

Communication is the biggest factor of a Relationship

After reading Lyle's article and discussing with my peer's, it came to me that communication is the most vital concept needed to have a lasting relationship. Nowadays more and more divorces are occurring and it is because spouses are not as up front with their significant other. There is more adultery and infidelity than ever, and it is just sinful. Technology has aided this revolution by allowing people to communicate with others, while the other spouse has no ideas. People are going behind their other's backs to find more sexual pleasures, but if they are up front to their spouse telling them their desires and not going to alternate sources, then things could be much better. If people are honest and respect their spouse like they are suppose to, the relationship will be even more meaningful and worth while. In the old days, people where suppose to be up-front with their spouse and which led to minimal divorces. The symbol of sex has also overshadowed true love and communication nowadays. Having sex at a younger age strains the relationship by dealing with concepts that young kids should not be dealing with. Now on TV there are shows of Teen Mom and 17 and pregnant. This issues make the situation much more difficult and more prone to divorce compared to the past where there was no sex until marriage.In addition the relationship was now based on communication and true love rather than sex which most of the relationships today are based on. Without the interpersonal communication aspect of relationships, then the relationship will not last. Sgershlak 13:46, 12 November 2010 (EST)

Quote: "To be convinced of the “truth” of a discourse is to find the alternatives foolish or fatuous—to slander or silence the out- side. Warring camps are developed that speak only for them- selves, and that seek means of destroying others’ credibility and influence (and life), all with an abiding sense of righteousness." (Gergen, 1991, p. 252)

Lyle and Gehart-Brooks Postmodernism and Divorce